To my Almost Lover

You were the best guy friend I had in college. You made me laugh when I was sad. You took me out on dates. You brought me to parties and plays. You served as my sounding board. It was an effortless friendship. The time with you was splendid that at one point, I found myself liking you. But I did not know, and I will never know, if I liked you romantically. But I liked you back then– how you talked to me, how you cheered me up, how you walked me home and offered your jacket, how you were as a person. I was in a relationship back then, yet I occasionally thought of leaving him for you. But I was scared. I was scared thinking that if we become more than friends, we would not be able to hold on to each other for long. I was scared thinking about the moment we part ways, the friendship would be gone as well. I was scared of losing you because I wanted you to be always part of my life. We never became a thing but the sad part is, even though we did not cross the border from friends to lovers, I still lost you. You’re still no longer in my life now.

 

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